Darth Maul's Vacation
by Blue Falcon
Summary: CHAPTER TWO IS UP*** Darth Maul goes on a little vacation to Tatooine. That is untill Sidious tells him he's there to ambush the Jedi.
1. Default Chapter

Written by Miba and Blue_Falcon  
  
  
  
Maul's Vacation  
  
  
"They sent Jedi, my master." Darth Maul said through the hologram.  
Sidious, looking a bit mad, yelled, "That is why I sent YOU!"  
Sidious cut the communication, leaving Maul sitting there in his Hawaiian clothes.  
"I knew there was a catch."  
Darth Maul stood up and walked over to a cabinet. He was wondering what to do next, so he picked up a copy of The Phantom Menace. He put it in the holovid player and pushed fast forward. When he pushed play, all he saw was an idiotic looking person dressed in dorky Hawaiian clothes. Maul reached down to get a handful of popcorn, and saw the figure in the movie reaching down. Then Maul looked all around himself, seeing the figure moving with him. Then he decided to have a staring game with the figure. The rules were, the first to look away lost.  
"Darth Maul, what are you doing?" Asked an exasperated voice. Maul, not having known Sidious had contacted him via hologram, jumped and looked around.  
"You made me lose!"  
Sidious only shook his head.  
"I want to see now." Maul complained.  
"You can't."  
"Why?"  
"Because we just past it."  
"When?"  
"Then."  
"Well I want to see then."  
"You can't."  
"Why?"  
"We passed it."  
"When?"  
"Just now."  
"When will now be then?"  
"Soon." Then with an evil laugh, Sidious cut the message, leaving a very confused Maul scratching his head. With resulted in a cut hand.  
  
Later, after bandaging his hand, Maul was looking through his electrobinochulars.  
"Ahhh... So that's what the Jedi Temple looks like. Never knew it was here on Tatooine."  
Maul lowered the 'electrobinochulars' to find a viewfinder in his hands. Maul accidently dropped them and bent to pick them up, but unknowingly grabbed his real electrobinochulars. Maul grinned and looked up at the suns through them.  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
Maul dropped the electrobinochulars. Which broke. Maul ran onboard the ship to get eyedrops. But right before he got them, Sidious appeared in a hologram.  
"I thought I heard a scream. Sounded like you."  
Maul looked a bit sheepish, which was hard to do considering he was suppose to look evil. "I dropped your electrobinochulars."  
"My 5,000,000 credit electrobinochulars?"  
"Yes." Maul looked down at his black boots. Although he couldn't tell if it was his boots since he couldn't tell the black of his clothes from the black of his boots.  
"That's it. You're grounded. You can't kill any Jedi for a week."  
"Ahhhh.... But Master!"  
"No buts." Sidious started to cut the transmission.  
Maul sat back and sulkily crossed his arms. "You always take all the fun out of things."  
Sidious only smiled, "By the way, I think you should have a look at your eyes."  
Maul stood up and walked over to a mirror.  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My eyes are RED!"  
Guess that answers a big question. Eyes don't turn black when they get burned, they turn red.  
Darth Maul decided the only thing that would cheer him up was to go into Mos Espa and scare citizens by glaring. Maul grinned and rode his speeder into town. He walked up and down the streets, glaring at random people. 'Oh, boy! This is fun!' He thought.  
Then he came to a little boy with blonde hair. Of all things, kids were easiest to scare. But this boy didn't get scared. He only held out his right hand in self defense.  
All of a sudden, Maul couldn't breath. He was choking.  
The kid grinned and stuck his hand out farther.  
"Ani! Ani, where are?" Called a voice.  
Ani looked scared all of a sudden. "Uh, oh! Coming mom! Hope she doesn't kill me."  
Maul shook his head, then grabbed for his lightsaber, it wasn't there. He must have left it on the ship. He ran back to look for the saber.  
Maul was under a table searching and wondering why in the galaxy had he had a table installed in the 'fresher.  
BEEP!!!!  
BEEP!!!  
It was the beeping indicating an incoming hologram. Surprised by the sound, Maul jumped up, cutting the table in half with his horns. The table legs got wrapped around his legs and Maul tripped, his head falling into the toilet. His hand accidently hit the flush. Maul's cloak got caught and he had to take it off and let it go. He stood up and ran for the door, jumping over the broken table. Looking back, he saw that the toilet was overfull and spilling unto the floor. Shaking his head, Maul ran for the lounge. It was a mess. There was wrappers everywhere, nintendo cords stringing from one end of the room to the other, dirty dishes strewn all around and clothes everywhere. Quickly, Maul made an even bigger mess of things by knocking it all around. Then, after five minutes of trying to untangle himself from all the cords, he remembered that the hologram machine was in the cockpit, not the lounge. Maul ran for the cockpit, jumping over miscellaneous things and dragging cords. Finally, he hit the receive button.  
A little man wearing a red suit and holding money suddenly appeared. "Hi! I'm Lucky Sam, here at the gambling hall in Cloud City on Bespin! Got a ship that you really love? Why not bet it to your best friend in a game of Sabaac?" Then the man's holo disappeared.  
Maul stood there, with nintendo cords wrapped around him, his cloak gone, water overflowing from the toilet, the ship a total wreck, staring at the holomachine. Maul then reached for his lightsaber, which he'd had all along. It was just hanging on the wrong side of his belt. He then proceeded to make holomachine shichkabob. He promised himself that after he'd delt with Jedi, he'd kill Lucky Sam.  
Then as he wandered back to the bedroom he cut the cords off him, singing himself plenty times. In fact, there was one nice long singe mark running across his stomach as if he had been cut in half. It gave him an eerie feeling. Maul came out wearing his Hawaii clothes again, carrying a lounge chair and wearing sunglasses. He stopped by the kitchen and got a cup of lemonade with a little umbrella sticking out of the top.  
Maul stepped outside, found a good spot and sat down to enjoy the sunset.  
He was just dozing off when he heard a beeping sound coming from his wrist and almost chopped it off trying to figure out what was going on.  
"Your droid is returning." A monotonous voice said.  
Maul grinned, ran back inside, but first he got his leg stuck in the chair. Jumping around on one foot, Maul kicked the chair and sent it flying off the cliff. Maul ran to the edge of the cliff and yelled "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
The beeping came again, making Maul forget his chair and run inside. He grabbed an extra cloak from the back of a chair as he ran back outside.  
Shaking his head Maul picked up his Master's broken electrobinochulars and looked toward the horizon. It was a beautiful site. All the colors twirled as if he were looking through a kelidoscope.  
Suddenly he heard a sound and looked over, surprised to see one of his probe droids. How in the galaxy had it snuck up on him like that? It didn't matter. The droid said something in droidese and flew off, leaving Maul confused for a moment before he remembered his wrist computer knew droidese. The computer knew where to find the Jedi. He jumped onto his speeder, not having any idea how it'd gotten outside. He flew off... uh, oh. There's a cliff!!!!!!!! Maul just sat there, terrified. Then the speeder flew off the cliff and landed safely on the bottom. Maul would've had a few grey hairs, but he didn't have hair. Then Maul got to thinking, then he grinned. "THAT WAS COOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
He circled back to do it again. Then set out after the Jedi.  
  
****************************************  
  
  
Second chapter comming soon. 


	2. chapter two

Written by Miba and Blue_Falcon.  
  
  
Darth Maul's Vacation part two  
  
  
Darth Maul rode his speeder towards where the computer said the Jedi were. But, when he got there, there was no Jedi. He checked the moniter and a message popped up that read, "You have preformed an iliigal operation. Please quit all aplications and start over. Which will take aproxemently five hours."  
Maul hit the moniter and another message popped up, "I will continue to preform illigal operations if you continue hitting me."  
Maul stuck his tongue out at the moniter and to his serprise, it did the same. But only in 2D format.  
Ten hours later, the computer was finally working, but Maul had pulled all his hair out. Not that he had any to began with. Then the computer popped up with an emergancy screen. Maul, who had just typed in a thousand words of code telling the computer how to search for the Jedi, imediatly clicked on the screen. The second the screen changed, he realized he hadn't hit save.  
The emergancy screen popped up. It read, "Have a ship? A good one? A bad one? Doesn't matter. You can bet any ship here at Cloud City gambling hall."  
An hour later, Maul finally got the location of the Jedi. They were a hundred miles away. He rode his speeder there and saw a little kid with blonde hair running. It was the same one who had choked him earlier. Maul grinned, revenge! He aimed for the kid. But, unfortunetly, he ducked. Mual then saw a Jedi. He flipped off his speeder and started fighting with all intent to kill. But then he remembered that Sidious had grounded him from killing. But that didn't mean he couldn't have fun with him. Get the Jedi worried.  
Soon, the Jedi disappeared. He looked around, confused, then saw his green lightsaber and realized the Jedi was on board the ship. He stood up and deactivated his lightsaber as the ship disappeared.  
Maul grinned. Then he went, "WHHHHOOOOOOOOHHHHHOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!" He'd fought better then ever. He hadn't even tripped over his cloak!  
Then he looked around for his speeder so he could go back and tell Sidious of his victory. What he saw wasn't a speeder. It was a crumpled up peice of smoking metal. His mouth dropped open and he weakly groaned, "No! I'm going to be grounded for life!"What would Sidious say when he found out that Maul ahd broken his one billion credit galaxy of the art speeder! Maul slowly trudged back to his ship.  
Maul walked until he came across a farmer. The farmer offered him a ride and Maul accepted. About half way to his ship, the farmer talking the whole time, Tusken Raiders attacked. Maul quickly killed them all, but nearly got cut in two. Finally he made it to his ship almost a day later.  
He went to the kitchen and got some lemonade. Then he changed back into his Hawaiian clothes. He laid in the suns for a bit before they set, then went inside. He took off his sunglasses and checked his hologram machine. There were two-hundred messages. Maul scrolled through them. A hundred were junk mail and the other hundred were from Sidious.  
Maul called Sidious and his hologram came up. "WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG!?!?!?!?!?" He yelled.  
Maul pealed himself off the oposite wall and wondered how a hologram could generate enough airpower to porpell him across the room. "I.... uh... broke my speeder and had to get a ride from a farmer."  
Sidous just glared. A few minutes later he hissed, "Maul. You. Are. In. Serious. Trouble."  
Maul cringed. "Sorry?" He said meakly.  
"SORRY? You. Broke. My. One. Billion. Credit. Speeder." Sidious continued.  
A few minutes of silence. Then Sidous asked, "How did the fight go?"  
Maul looked up, smiling, "So I'm not going to get grounded?"  
Sidious smiled sweetly. "No. You're not going to get grounded."  
"YIPPIE!!!!!!!"  
"When you get back, I'm volentering you to clean the 'freshers for the entire Jedi Temple and you can't kill even one Jedi. Not even a first year trainee." Sidious declared.  
Maul turned white, making his face look weird, as it was diffrent shades of white. Sidious laughed at it. "So, how'd the fight go?"  
Maul regained his enthusiasim about his victory and grinned. "Success!"  
"So, you killed the Jedi." Sidious purred.  
"Nope." Maul proudly proclaimed. "I didn't kill anyone but Tusken Raiders. I obeyed you and left the Jedi alive."  
Sidious stared at Maul for a moment. "What?"  
"You grounded me from killing Jedi. Remember?"  
"No! Why is it that the ONE time you decide to obey me it's now!?!?!" Sidious yelled.  
Maul smiled, "Because I knew that if I obeyed you you might let me kill all the Jedi I want."  
Sidious shook his head, "Why do I even bother?"  
"Becuase I'm your apprentice." Maul answered.  
"I didn't ask you." Sidious replied. A spark came frim the hallway and Sidious peeked around Maul to see the nintendo wires hanging from this that and everything. "Maul. I'm almost afraid to ask. But what did you do to my ship?"  
Maul looked behind him. "Um... I was playing nintendo? And I lost?"  
Sidious sighed, "Why do you lie to me? You know I can sense when you're lieing."  
"Oops." Maul said.  
"Before I learn about any other mishaps you've had, I want you to go to Naboo. Just sit around and talk to the Vicroys. You shouldn't be able to cause much trouble doing that."  
Maul grinned. Another vacation....  
  
******************************  
Chapter three coming soon. Please R&R. 


End file.
